


A Useless Goodbye

by abiotic_butterfly



Series: A Depressing Side [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Hurt, M/M, Sadness, Suicide, suicide note
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 11:52:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14236695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abiotic_butterfly/pseuds/abiotic_butterfly
Summary: Dean doesn’t think living is worth it anymore.





	A Useless Goodbye

Dear Sammy, 

I never wanted to go before you. I thought it’d be a shitty thing to do. Leave you behind, all alone. 

But you’ll be fine Sammy, you’ve been fine without me before. I was gone for only a year and you moved on. 

My death won’t ruin you. It won’t be the end for you. 

But I don’t think I can go on Sammy. I don’t think I can continue. I used to be able to not smile, I used to think that our lives consisted of fast food and long car trips to our doom.

But now that I know that there’s more...that I could have had more. I don’t think I can go on like this. 

Pretending that I’m okay, because I’m not. I can’t fake anymore smiles, I can’t act like I care. I can’t look at Jack. 

Everything that’s happened recently is too much. Yet not enough at all. 

Do you get it? Does that make sense? So much shit has happened to us recently and yet I feel nothing. I feel like they’ll always be more.

I don’t want there to be more, there can’t be more. I don’t think I can survive more.

If I didn’t do this now I’d do it later. I’d become worse and worse, day after day of hating myself would get me nowhere. 

It’s gotten me nowhere.

So I guess this is goodbye. You’re in your room right now, probably reading a book. Typical. And Jack, god, I don’t fucking know where Jack is.

I wish I cared.

I’d tell you to say bye to everyone for me, but there’s no one to say goodbye to. 

Our family is dead, our friends are dead, eveyone we’ve ever loved is dead!

I really have nothing to leave you, take good care of Baby. I swear I’ll haunt your ass if you put any new fangled technology in her. 

Goodbye Sam, thanks for always being there when I’d mess shit up. 

Goodbye mom and dad, I know you’re dead but hey, I’m gonna see you real soon so I might as well include you. 

and Goodbye Cas, thanks for everything.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my god I made myself tear up. All the references hurt but I wanted to put them in to make it better. It just hurt more.


End file.
